It can get quite into your head when you are asked and challenged about your identity !!

Yes, that is what I am struggling in my head now - am I too wrong with who I am and where I was born. Ofcourse, it is not important but it can be all that your life could depend on. Interestingly enough, it disturbs me inside my whole head and in my whole surroundings now.

Dont know if I could make peace with it.

 

All is knew was and still knew is that

I am who I am that is - I belong to myself

I belong in my head

I belong to my own religion

my religion is not made up of what people already know.

I m just a traveller on this planet earth.

My religion is to see this world from the worst to the best

My prayer is that ride which is completed from one place to another.

My emotions are something that holds me together that no one understands.

I m here just for a while, once I m gone

Consider me gone forever with something no one could have answered you ever.

 

For love the boundaries are always big

For love the strength is never too strong

For love the emotions are always weak

 

I am just a FreeBirD - I can fly anywhere - is that where the problem lies !!

 

......is all about being a traveller travelling the different phases of life in different places and different conditions. Never belonged here and Never was a part of there. His world lies in his heart and his home is where his heart is. Hard to say yet so easy that life sure is not like this. Only nomads who are so poor but never poor can connect to me because world will have no place for people like me except some hearts who feel, the kid inside me makes them remind that this kid does not belong in this mean place. Very few are those who know and very rare are those who will understand this........ Mani.

 

 

Its hard to explain to the world how you feel when the world around you seems all strange to you.

Its that time when the place where you were born makes you feel that you cannot exist there - It is same as if the mom you love the most turns to feel insecure about losing you - Its same as your best friend can be lost over you because he is about to bring new stabilisation in life - Its same as everyone in your family makes you feel like disowning you.....

 

What would you do to all this ... !!

 

Answer : Re-Birth - Grow stronger and start your own Life... A new life - A new Re-birth.

 

What am I doing here in my life - I am doing my own thing - something you cannot do ...

I am slow but finally on my way to make it mine. Step by step - I already feel that I have lost everything but again, losing something means you create a lot of empty space which has to be filled again. I want to thank those very few counted people in whom I can see that innocent child who makes me connect back to me.. and I appreciate that there still exists few people who dont fit on this planet but make it to still exist here.

 

Its surely been long that I have been disconnected with myself but its high time to connect to myself and re-charge my batteries. Best way is to start again by bringing it all together. Share what you can but make sure you do not share that you have to pity yourself for it one day.... There are many bastards around you who will never allow you to grow but simply degrade you for your existence - dont let anyone bring you down - you are who you are and you are here for a reason. Reason big enough to make you feel belonging to this place.

 

Bye family, Bye friends, bye those materialistic treasures, bye to those huge himalayas - I am off to create my own road and this time - It will be more stronger and it shall show that all those things that I left will walk back to me again on their own...

 

Cheers to the new Start and to the new life which is all mine and not your fucking business.. mind your own fucking life.. !!

I have got other things on my head and in my sight.

 

How does it feel when a dream that you have dreamed about all your life comes into your real life ?

A long wait for couple of years - one thing takes a shape

A long wait of four years - your another dreams adds to join in, to form your life

Is it real that what you wish for is there for you, or is it just that I am living in an illusion of this life.

 

Just a Questionnaire between Me & Myself

 

Have I changed -

Answer is Yes..

Are you bothered, if your answer is Yes,

then better forget me.

If you are not bothered, please carry on with your life

I am not interested !!

 

Dont ask me -

I dont have any answers.

 

Thank You very much.. I m unavailable for rest of my life...

You have a wonderful time and a nice life...

 

If I get time, I may think of getting back to you

Or else, please consider I was never there..

 

Yours Truly

No one.

  After all this while, the life has come to give me what I have been thinking and asking for all this while. A change in life has come to show me a new beginning, a change that has everything to learn from it. Life in all has meaning to everything that happens around you, everything has a small but bigger impact inside you. I leave my home and my people and into the new land with new faces and new cultures. The learning that has to come is endless, there is nothing stopping me here.

It was a call from work that got me moving into this new place. It has been a month and almost three weeks that I adjust myself to this new environment and see the up and down moving into a western civilization embeded with the multiple faceted lives of people. Nothing compared to what we have. Or Possibly even we have it but its more hidden and such people are not so easily distinguishable. Down with these feelings of how the world really works, its a learning. Naive, into the polished world of smart dual faceted lifes. I endure to face it all but still that some of the best people still around life is easier better and more reliable.

 

Being an Asian in this place certainly makes u stand apart from the rest due to your appearance but such a thing is easily seen anywhere else, or shall we say any foreigner in India can also be easily distuingished. But the point here is, how much different. You still treat a foreigner in your country much more or less the same as any other strange indian. Its the whole point. The first thing that chills you is the silence when you step out of the airport. Back into your room or home, the silence is the killer. The first evening, you find that there are no horns honking around you and the world is suddenly quiet. The next morning when you walk out of your home you find that faces around you dont look up and walk. They have their eyes down looking into their feet and the world for you appears all together a different place. No one can bother anymore about how you appear or what you wear. No one would want to wonder whether what you do or not, but simply stay like nothing around them is theirs. Simple to some but at first a little strange. The adaption to such a place needs time. As a visitor you may not complain but if your stay is like for years you will simply not like to complain but to understand and adjust to it. I like for a fact that such a place demands a lot out of you to accept and not complain.

 

The journey moves further and the life becomes a battlefield. At work the people are nice and friendlier but the best enemy would be your next desk colleague who you may mistake as a friend but he will be interested in your new life like anything anyone else have asked you about. There is a bigger picture which you will never know but since he is the same indian desi - he will get back to the same way the mean ones would do. Get to your basics and start killing u from there. The heart gets the pain and the pain is in the form of how people (especially - someone from your own part of the world) get to start draining you. The world is a battlefield with a small unknown battle which you realize late that people become insecure and afraid from you. Each word you say in their language - becomes a 10 word answer to their ears.

 

Along comes another face of life, from the networking sites of the glorious world, I met this nice friend who not only just offered the support but love and affection and if there was a hidden fact to it, I do not know but the time was to answer all the things. Few meetings and things went too fast and with the pace that looking back becomes a visual challenge. Facing it again is a wonderful part and not letting it go another but where am i being taken into, is the Question : To me the meaning is to share but I value rather a bigger aspect of it - A friendship that is more valuable and stepping back can be really daunting but is needed and has to be accepted by life. The new change is evident but its all a part of learning. I learn and share and live it. I live with it and I cannot complain for what I get.