FreeBirD - Da loner

It can get quite into your head when you are asked and challenged about your identity !!

Yes, that is what I am struggling in my head now - am I too wrong with who I am and where I was born. Ofcourse, it is not important but it can be all that your life could depend on. Interestingly enough, it disturbs me inside my whole head and in my whole surroundings now.

Dont know if I could make peace with it.

 

All is knew was and still knew is that

I am who I am that is - I belong to myself

I belong in my head

I belong to my own religion

my religion is not made up of what people already know.

I m just a traveller on this planet earth.

My religion is to see this world from the worst to the best

My prayer is that ride which is completed from one place to another.

My emotions are something that holds me together that no one understands.

I m here just for a while, once I m gone

Consider me gone forever with something no one could have answered you ever.

 

For love the boundaries are always big

For love the strength is never too strong

For love the emotions are always weak

 

I am just a FreeBirD - I can fly anywhere - is that where the problem lies !!

 

......is all about being a traveller travelling the different phases of life in different places and different conditions. Never belonged here and Never was a part of there. His world lies in his heart and his home is where his heart is. Hard to say yet so easy that life sure is not like this. Only nomads who are so poor but never poor can connect to me because world will have no place for people like me except some hearts who feel, the kid inside me makes them remind that this kid does not belong in this mean place. Very few are those who know and very rare are those who will understand this........ Mani.

 

 

It would sound so funny if I want to be honest. But the phrase itself - "To be honest" in today world looks so dishonest.

Claimed my super special friend who was boasting to be my brother, my angel, my support. Meaningless are those people who claim to be your friends but in the end use you like the best they can because they were using you as a baloon on the water to jump over into their shores.

 

Asking for a help even with words they answer to tell you that you have become a pain for them. Interesting.

There is nothing to defend here, all there is - is to start from the scratch.

 

To reclaim my life back again I have to built myself from the very point that no one was and no one will be standing next to me.

Whether it was personal or proffesional its that both of them are on the stake.

Personal, already declared as No one standing on my side.

Proffessional, I can see it coming down if I dont pull out of this diving plane with a deadline soon approaching before it hits the ground.

 

So, whatever happens _ I will survive to catch it all again with you and with you and with you too...

This is not the end - It is just the beginning of Life... Real one this time.

 

Its hard to explain to the world how you feel when the world around you seems all strange to you.

Its that time when the place where you were born makes you feel that you cannot exist there - It is same as if the mom you love the most turns to feel insecure about losing you - Its same as your best friend can be lost over you because he is about to bring new stabilisation in life - Its same as everyone in your family makes you feel like disowning you.....

 

What would you do to all this ... !!

 

Answer : Re-Birth - Grow stronger and start your own Life... A new life - A new Re-birth.

 

What am I doing here in my life - I am doing my own thing - something you cannot do ...

I am slow but finally on my way to make it mine. Step by step - I already feel that I have lost everything but again, losing something means you create a lot of empty space which has to be filled again. I want to thank those very few counted people in whom I can see that innocent child who makes me connect back to me.. and I appreciate that there still exists few people who dont fit on this planet but make it to still exist here.

 

Its surely been long that I have been disconnected with myself but its high time to connect to myself and re-charge my batteries. Best way is to start again by bringing it all together. Share what you can but make sure you do not share that you have to pity yourself for it one day.... There are many bastards around you who will never allow you to grow but simply degrade you for your existence - dont let anyone bring you down - you are who you are and you are here for a reason. Reason big enough to make you feel belonging to this place.

 

Bye family, Bye friends, bye those materialistic treasures, bye to those huge himalayas - I am off to create my own road and this time - It will be more stronger and it shall show that all those things that I left will walk back to me again on their own...

 

Cheers to the new Start and to the new life which is all mine and not your fucking business.. mind your own fucking life.. !!

I have got other things on my head and in my sight.

365days and I complete one year in this cold place which is not just cold with its weather but with its people too. Love that is, is hidden inside and is absolutely not - not love. But coming up from the distance of an Asian continent - it is world of difference that possibly makes me feel different but I surely dont have anyone to blame but just simply accept because this is the way life comes.

 

I am walking still, and the journey is long. Trust is not a word to be trusted anymore.

None than yourself will help you understand that this life is just yours and you will find the partner but that is not to spend the life but to get to a stage where the next level begins again. Love is precious if you get it from both the ends and if you do, dont ever leave it.

 

Advices are only half chances which may or may not help you but what will help you is - your own decision. If you know it, stick to it - comes worst to worst - you will still walk out of it eventually.

 

Smile, they will fade out as you see the real world, the fake smiles will surely grow with your growing grey hair - dont let this infection harm you for who you are. I am seeing that it has caught me but It is really hard to find real me now and I am struggling between this switchover... It sure is not a nice thing but we live to see the next daylight to empower ourselves.